Another year has passed us by. While 2009 felt like something that needed to be weathered, 2010 felt like the first chapter of a new book. Sure that can be said about any moment in time, but this past year seemed to mark the beginning of significant things to come.
For me the year started off both good and bad. The end of 2009 had shown me the signs that things needed to change otherwise I would be stuck in place. Like many changes, this came with a lot of pain, but in the end it was necessary to make some forward progress. So by the time the first of the year actually hit I had already been given all the information I needed to start something new. So on the first day of 2010 I both physically and emotionally ended a decade long relationship so that I could be free. This was the key to everything else. Mentally accepting the fact that I no longer needed to concern myself with someone else I could make the leap towards something new, and hopefully better. Thankfully I had a lot of support along the way.
Much like 2009, this year felt like more things were happening around me than actually to me. It feels like that, but quite a lot happened. To start it off I moved away from a place that felt more and more hostile to me. I returned back to a place where people actually seemed to be interested in me. I left a job that was intent on grinding up its employees until there was nothing left. It took most of the year to find a job to replace it and when I did, I found not just one, but a second that was even better than the first. This year also marked the end of apparent free fall through societal responsibilities. That is both good and bad. I now have expenses again, but have the means to pay them. I have to pay taxes for the first time in three years, but that means I've made enough money that the government wants their cut. There are times when it feels like I took a three year vacation from my own life and have finally come back home. Right now I'm in the process of dusting off everything and getting back into the routine of things. As I've mentioned with vacations though, they often point out the things that we'd like to escape from or possibly run towards.
Like any year there is a lot that happens over the course of 365 days. My family experienced some drastic changes. Some would say they were a long time coming, but they were no less unexpected or drastic, even if we saw them from a ways away. Lessons were learned about the consequences of our actions. They always seem to blindside us when we're getting comfortable. While in the moment it can feel larger than it is, but eventually, like everything else in our lives, it too will be another moment that fades into the past and shapes our future. My brother had such a moment and is still feeling the effects to this day. While I wish he could have avoided the method in which the lesson was given, I hope that he takes the good from it all because without that single event there is no saying how the year would have ended for him. As it is now, from that moment he can change the course he was on and move towards something better. Both of my parents are now faced with going through the world in a different way. They say that we only really appreciate the adventures after we've gone through them. While we're on them they may not seem like much fun at all. In some cases an adventure may just seem like a trial we have to endure. That may in fact be true. I think though that both my parents are ready to start their lives in ways they may have not expected or even wanted. 2010 was only the starting gun. The actual adventure is still to come. They, like the rest of us, just have to be willing to go on it.
New friends were made. Old ones went away. With technology being what it is the ability for all of us to connect or reconnect with those people from our past. Many of the people around me had to redefine themselves. Jobs were gained and lost. The limitations of the human body were discovered at the worst possible times. The gift of new life was given to both parents and those who wished more than anything to become parents. As with any year there was death. People close to us and people we know of in name only. This year didn't feel like it was a rampage to claim as much as possible before it closed. I'm sure to those who lost loved ones that point could be argued, but this year didn't seem as vindictive as the one that came before it.
2009 was the year that needed to be survived. 2010 felt like the year of freedom, both wanted and unexpected. Even if that freedom came from a seemingly terrible event. It marked the beginning. Like I said at first, 2010 felt like the start of something. Maybe that's true for every year or even every day. Looking back it seems like this last year was just a preamble for what comes next.
