There was a time when I loved Halloween almost as much as Christmas. It seems that the holiday was made for children, even if its origin had nothing to do with handing out treats. Most of my Halloween memories have faded away. Like most things it's become a blur of childhood.
When I was really young my favorite part wasn't getting the candy, although if you were to ask me that as I was going door to door my tiny little brain would have been hard pressed to find something I loved more. My favorite part was picking out my costume. At that age it seemed almost if by magic how the stores went from mundane to filled with Halloween decorations and costumes. As I've mentioned, back then I had a difficult time with making a decision because I tended to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices. My mind would try to visualize myself in each costume. As a kid I wasn't very inventive when it came to my costume. I tended to like something already pre-made. So I would be the kid dressed in the plastic He-Man outfit with the mask that didn't quite fit. Plus I grew up in a place where by the time October rolled around, it was already very cold with snow on the ground. That meant no matter what costume you picked, you had to wear your winter jacket over it. Sure I would complain that it would ruin the illusion my costume, but about five seconds outside of the car and I would be begging for it. That's another thing, we lived in a somewhat rural neighborhood so you couldn't just walk door to door. You had to be driven from place to place. A typical run would be sitting in the car, waiting for mom or dad to get us to the next place. My mask would be up on my head or off as I tried to make sure it still looked like Yoda or a Gremlin. We'd pull up to the house and I'd throw on my mask. I had to make sure my mittens were on and my jacket could be unzipped easily when asked what I was dressed as. Back then everyone was dressed as the cold weather version of their costume. Arctic Barbie. Winter Barbarian He-Man. All Weather Voltron.
You know what happens to plastic when it gets really cold? It cracks. Those costumes were made with the cheapest possible material and I doubt they had been weather tested to -20. It didn't matter because parents were determined to help their kids experience Halloween. My memories of Halloween are of headlights in the dead of night and children bundled up like Eskimos running from door to door. Occasionally when we got to a more populated neighborhood we would see other people long enough that you could admire their costume, or loathe them for having picked the same one as you.
I guess there was a time when kids went trick or treating and could come home and eat their candy directly. I've never known a time like that. We've all heard the stories about how some psycho stuck a razor blade into a caramel apple or injected poison into a Tootsie Roll. That meant while we were having fun going door to door begging for candy, our parents were cautiously watching everything that was given to us. Some houses had full sized candy bars and we loved those people. Others had the usual "fun size" candy and we took as much as we could as filler. Then there were those people who went out of their way to make treats. Caramel apples or popcorn balls. Looking back I feel bad for them. They put a lot of effort into making that stuff, in hopes that children would enjoy them as much as the store bought candy. Problem was those types of treats were the first things thrown away once we got home. There was that inherent fear that something could be wrong with them and no chances were being taken. I would like to imagine that most of the people who handed those things out had no bad intentions. The real crazies were the people who gave out toothpaste. Those were the people that kids couldn't wrap their heads around. We had to say thank you and smile, but inside we were wondering if they were aware that it was Halloween and not National Dentistry Night.
When I was really young I remember going to a costume party with my mother. The exact details of the event are probably lost, but I have images here and there. She was dressed up as a black cat and I was in some kind of costume. We didn't drive straight there so at some point we had to walk. I remember that walk being one of the scariest in my short life. It was cold and dark, but there were street lights here and there. That scattering of light actually made things worse. I would catch glimpses of monsters lumbering along, off to go eat children. I was at an age where everything was still being taken at face value. So if I saw someone dressed as a gorilla that meant it had somehow escaped from the zoo, which we didn't have, and was running loose. It wasn't until Mr. Gorilla actually took off his mask and revealed that it was someone I knew. Halloween for children must be almost overwhelmingly exhilarating.
As I got older Halloween became less and less important. It wasn't until my brother got to an age where we would take him trick or treating that I started to appreciate it again. There was one final year before I left for college that I got to drive him on my own. Being the typical big brother, I took every advantage of scaring the crap out of him. When he would get out of the car I would drive up the block to where he'd eventually end up if he went to every house. The poor kid was terrified and with good reason. A lot of those streets had no street lamps and tended to be very dark. It was my way of making him get over his fear for the sake of candy. I sometimes wonder what his Halloweens were like after I went off to college. By then he was reaching that age were it wasn't cool to dress up.
Now that I'm older I look back at Halloween as something I knew was fun, even if I can't remember specifics. Most of the Halloweens for the past decade have been so uneventful that I nearly forget that it's October 31st. Part of me is sad that we let ourselves dismiss things like that. Instead we go about our every day. I suppose it's easy to do when you don't have children. It becomes just another night, but with more knocks on the door. Why do we allow the magic to drain away on things that we loved as children? What are we replacing it with? It seems in a lot of cases we prefer the mundane because it's easier to deal with. Maybe the whole point of Halloween night is to break out of the ordinary and become something we're not. In the morning we can go back to our jobs and lives, but for that brief amount of time while the sun is down we let ourselves be children again.
