This is being written by someone who isn't currently in love (and hasn't been in awhile) so for anyone reading this who is, well you'll probably disagree with what I have to say.
It seems like finding The One is next to impossible these days. If you think about it there are over six billion people on the planet, meaning the chances of finding that perfect soul mate is six billion to one. And that's assuming your field is everyone on the planet. Even if you narrow it down to your own country you've got several hundred million to deal with. Finding true love in India or China must be like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. Let's say you limit it to just your state or surrounding states. Still looking at a few million people. So you've limited the options to about seven percent of all the potentials. Think of all the people you have ever met in your entire life. Does it add up to over a million people? How many of those did you really get to know? In all likelihood you could have met your soul mate and never even stopped to learn their last name.
So maybe it's more likely that instead of there being The One there is the one for right now. Considering how much we change over the years it's hard to imagine that a single person will grow and change with us in the exact way that keeps them as a constant perfect companion. I'm not saying it's impossible, but people change, sometimes right when you're looking at them. The person that's good for you now may not be right for you in twenty years or even tomorrow. I get the impression that every relationship is the equivalent of a "summer thing", but with varying degrees of length.
Now I'm not opposed to the idea of soul mates because I've met people I've had an instant connection with. It's almost like I recognized them, even though I was meeting them for the first time. For me those connections have been more on a friend level than an intimate one, but I imagine the same basic premise is still there, just heightened. But that's how I felt about the person. I can't know how the person felt about me. Is someone really your soul mate just because you feel they are? How can you quantify someone else's connection towards you? I've known many people who believe with all their heart that someone is meant for them, but it doesn't work out for whatever reason. Does that mean they were wrong about the person being their soul mate or was the other person just not in the know? Which leads to the idea that maybe just because we believe it, doesn't make it so.
Every single relationship in the history of relationships has ended or will end eventually. It's just a matter of time. That may sound cynical, but it's just a fact of life. Even if you manage to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, at some point someone is going to die. Then the relationship is over. In more cases though things end before death. Think about it this way. Even if you're currently in a relationship, every one before it ended. That must mean that even if the people before felt like The One, they must not have been because you're no longer with them. It's been described that a soul mate is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. Well that's great as long as you're in love and like each other. What happens when that person no longer loves you? Do they stop being a soul mate and become a soul nemesis? It's also been said that best friends make the worst enemies. That's especially true with former loves. The passion that was once there can turn in on itself and become loathing. At that point it probably feels like your soul mate is there to torment you until death.
Maybe we have several The Ones throughout our life. When you're 19 you have The One for you then. When you're 26 you may as well be a different person so you get another The One. The person you wanted or needed when you were 19 may look nothing like what you want or need at 26. Who's to say what you'll need in another seven years? I believe that everyone in our lives serves some kind of purpose though. Even if that purpose is to teach us a painful lesson. It makes me wonder what kind of purpose I may serve in other people's lives and what lessons I'm painfully teaching those around me.
To me it seems like people in our lives are somewhat seasonal, for lack of a better term. They come into our lives for a time and then they go. Some last longer than others, but it's just the nature of things for people to drift in and out of each other's lives. Maybe you're with the person who feels like the one. The person you've spent your whole life searching for. If it feels that way, then enjoy it because you never can tell how long something will last. Consider yourself lucky. In a sea of billions you managed to find someone that fits you right now. If you're still looking for that perfect one, you better hope that they're in the seven million people that are surrounding you.
