Sunday, October 31, 2010
On Halloween
There was a time when I loved Halloween almost as much as Christmas. It seems that the holiday was made for children, even if its origin had nothing to do with handing out treats. Most of my Halloween memories have faded away. Like most things it's become a blur of childhood.
When I was really young my favorite part wasn't getting the candy, although if you were to ask me that as I was going door to door my tiny little brain would have been hard pressed to find something I loved more. My favorite part was picking out my costume. At that age it seemed almost if by magic how the stores went from mundane to filled with Halloween decorations and costumes. As I've mentioned, back then I had a difficult time with making a decision because I tended to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices. My mind would try to visualize myself in each costume. As a kid I wasn't very inventive when it came to my costume. I tended to like something already pre-made. So I would be the kid dressed in the plastic He-Man outfit with the mask that didn't quite fit. Plus I grew up in a place where by the time October rolled around, it was already very cold with snow on the ground. That meant no matter what costume you picked, you had to wear your winter jacket over it. Sure I would complain that it would ruin the illusion my costume, but about five seconds outside of the car and I would be begging for it. That's another thing, we lived in a somewhat rural neighborhood so you couldn't just walk door to door. You had to be driven from place to place. A typical run would be sitting in the car, waiting for mom or dad to get us to the next place. My mask would be up on my head or off as I tried to make sure it still looked like Yoda or a Gremlin. We'd pull up to the house and I'd throw on my mask. I had to make sure my mittens were on and my jacket could be unzipped easily when asked what I was dressed as. Back then everyone was dressed as the cold weather version of their costume. Arctic Barbie. Winter Barbarian He-Man. All Weather Voltron.
You know what happens to plastic when it gets really cold? It cracks. Those costumes were made with the cheapest possible material and I doubt they had been weather tested to -20. It didn't matter because parents were determined to help their kids experience Halloween. My memories of Halloween are of headlights in the dead of night and children bundled up like Eskimos running from door to door. Occasionally when we got to a more populated neighborhood we would see other people long enough that you could admire their costume, or loathe them for having picked the same one as you.
I guess there was a time when kids went trick or treating and could come home and eat their candy directly. I've never known a time like that. We've all heard the stories about how some psycho stuck a razor blade into a caramel apple or injected poison into a Tootsie Roll. That meant while we were having fun going door to door begging for candy, our parents were cautiously watching everything that was given to us. Some houses had full sized candy bars and we loved those people. Others had the usual "fun size" candy and we took as much as we could as filler. Then there were those people who went out of their way to make treats. Caramel apples or popcorn balls. Looking back I feel bad for them. They put a lot of effort into making that stuff, in hopes that children would enjoy them as much as the store bought candy. Problem was those types of treats were the first things thrown away once we got home. There was that inherent fear that something could be wrong with them and no chances were being taken. I would like to imagine that most of the people who handed those things out had no bad intentions. The real crazies were the people who gave out toothpaste. Those were the people that kids couldn't wrap their heads around. We had to say thank you and smile, but inside we were wondering if they were aware that it was Halloween and not National Dentistry Night.
When I was really young I remember going to a costume party with my mother. The exact details of the event are probably lost, but I have images here and there. She was dressed up as a black cat and I was in some kind of costume. We didn't drive straight there so at some point we had to walk. I remember that walk being one of the scariest in my short life. It was cold and dark, but there were street lights here and there. That scattering of light actually made things worse. I would catch glimpses of monsters lumbering along, off to go eat children. I was at an age where everything was still being taken at face value. So if I saw someone dressed as a gorilla that meant it had somehow escaped from the zoo, which we didn't have, and was running loose. It wasn't until Mr. Gorilla actually took off his mask and revealed that it was someone I knew. Halloween for children must be almost overwhelmingly exhilarating.
As I got older Halloween became less and less important. It wasn't until my brother got to an age where we would take him trick or treating that I started to appreciate it again. There was one final year before I left for college that I got to drive him on my own. Being the typical big brother, I took every advantage of scaring the crap out of him. When he would get out of the car I would drive up the block to where he'd eventually end up if he went to every house. The poor kid was terrified and with good reason. A lot of those streets had no street lamps and tended to be very dark. It was my way of making him get over his fear for the sake of candy. I sometimes wonder what his Halloweens were like after I went off to college. By then he was reaching that age were it wasn't cool to dress up.
Now that I'm older I look back at Halloween as something I knew was fun, even if I can't remember specifics. Most of the Halloweens for the past decade have been so uneventful that I nearly forget that it's October 31st. Part of me is sad that we let ourselves dismiss things like that. Instead we go about our every day. I suppose it's easy to do when you don't have children. It becomes just another night, but with more knocks on the door. Why do we allow the magic to drain away on things that we loved as children? What are we replacing it with? It seems in a lot of cases we prefer the mundane because it's easier to deal with. Maybe the whole point of Halloween night is to break out of the ordinary and become something we're not. In the morning we can go back to our jobs and lives, but for that brief amount of time while the sun is down we let ourselves be children again.
When I was really young my favorite part wasn't getting the candy, although if you were to ask me that as I was going door to door my tiny little brain would have been hard pressed to find something I loved more. My favorite part was picking out my costume. At that age it seemed almost if by magic how the stores went from mundane to filled with Halloween decorations and costumes. As I've mentioned, back then I had a difficult time with making a decision because I tended to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices. My mind would try to visualize myself in each costume. As a kid I wasn't very inventive when it came to my costume. I tended to like something already pre-made. So I would be the kid dressed in the plastic He-Man outfit with the mask that didn't quite fit. Plus I grew up in a place where by the time October rolled around, it was already very cold with snow on the ground. That meant no matter what costume you picked, you had to wear your winter jacket over it. Sure I would complain that it would ruin the illusion my costume, but about five seconds outside of the car and I would be begging for it. That's another thing, we lived in a somewhat rural neighborhood so you couldn't just walk door to door. You had to be driven from place to place. A typical run would be sitting in the car, waiting for mom or dad to get us to the next place. My mask would be up on my head or off as I tried to make sure it still looked like Yoda or a Gremlin. We'd pull up to the house and I'd throw on my mask. I had to make sure my mittens were on and my jacket could be unzipped easily when asked what I was dressed as. Back then everyone was dressed as the cold weather version of their costume. Arctic Barbie. Winter Barbarian He-Man. All Weather Voltron.
You know what happens to plastic when it gets really cold? It cracks. Those costumes were made with the cheapest possible material and I doubt they had been weather tested to -20. It didn't matter because parents were determined to help their kids experience Halloween. My memories of Halloween are of headlights in the dead of night and children bundled up like Eskimos running from door to door. Occasionally when we got to a more populated neighborhood we would see other people long enough that you could admire their costume, or loathe them for having picked the same one as you.
I guess there was a time when kids went trick or treating and could come home and eat their candy directly. I've never known a time like that. We've all heard the stories about how some psycho stuck a razor blade into a caramel apple or injected poison into a Tootsie Roll. That meant while we were having fun going door to door begging for candy, our parents were cautiously watching everything that was given to us. Some houses had full sized candy bars and we loved those people. Others had the usual "fun size" candy and we took as much as we could as filler. Then there were those people who went out of their way to make treats. Caramel apples or popcorn balls. Looking back I feel bad for them. They put a lot of effort into making that stuff, in hopes that children would enjoy them as much as the store bought candy. Problem was those types of treats were the first things thrown away once we got home. There was that inherent fear that something could be wrong with them and no chances were being taken. I would like to imagine that most of the people who handed those things out had no bad intentions. The real crazies were the people who gave out toothpaste. Those were the people that kids couldn't wrap their heads around. We had to say thank you and smile, but inside we were wondering if they were aware that it was Halloween and not National Dentistry Night.
When I was really young I remember going to a costume party with my mother. The exact details of the event are probably lost, but I have images here and there. She was dressed up as a black cat and I was in some kind of costume. We didn't drive straight there so at some point we had to walk. I remember that walk being one of the scariest in my short life. It was cold and dark, but there were street lights here and there. That scattering of light actually made things worse. I would catch glimpses of monsters lumbering along, off to go eat children. I was at an age where everything was still being taken at face value. So if I saw someone dressed as a gorilla that meant it had somehow escaped from the zoo, which we didn't have, and was running loose. It wasn't until Mr. Gorilla actually took off his mask and revealed that it was someone I knew. Halloween for children must be almost overwhelmingly exhilarating.
As I got older Halloween became less and less important. It wasn't until my brother got to an age where we would take him trick or treating that I started to appreciate it again. There was one final year before I left for college that I got to drive him on my own. Being the typical big brother, I took every advantage of scaring the crap out of him. When he would get out of the car I would drive up the block to where he'd eventually end up if he went to every house. The poor kid was terrified and with good reason. A lot of those streets had no street lamps and tended to be very dark. It was my way of making him get over his fear for the sake of candy. I sometimes wonder what his Halloweens were like after I went off to college. By then he was reaching that age were it wasn't cool to dress up.
Now that I'm older I look back at Halloween as something I knew was fun, even if I can't remember specifics. Most of the Halloweens for the past decade have been so uneventful that I nearly forget that it's October 31st. Part of me is sad that we let ourselves dismiss things like that. Instead we go about our every day. I suppose it's easy to do when you don't have children. It becomes just another night, but with more knocks on the door. Why do we allow the magic to drain away on things that we loved as children? What are we replacing it with? It seems in a lot of cases we prefer the mundane because it's easier to deal with. Maybe the whole point of Halloween night is to break out of the ordinary and become something we're not. In the morning we can go back to our jobs and lives, but for that brief amount of time while the sun is down we let ourselves be children again.
Friday, October 29, 2010
On Monsters
What makes a monster monstrous? Sure it can be something overt like tentacles coming out of its mouth or an extra set of eyes that seem to stare straight into your soul. The thing is both of those traits can describe several species of animals, which are nothing close to monsters when you really look at them. They're just different. Sesame Street and Pixar both have shown us that monsters may not be as horrible as they first appear. Like a the Solifugae, it may look strange at first, but in the end it's just an arachnid that does what arachnids do to survive. For us it may seem strange for something with multiple legs and eyes building a web or paralyzing its victim with venom before devouring it alive. Yes, that may seem strange, but is that really worse than a species that keeps animals trapped in cages their entire lives, only letting them out so they can be slaughtered and turned into tasty treats we often can't finish and ultimately throw away? Who is the monster then? Much like the whole discussion on evil, maybe a monster is just a matter of perception.
I like the idea of monsters though. With it being that time of year, I've started thinking about what it is that makes some monsters frightening while others just seem boring. I guess it comes down to what scares you. It's been said that one of the scariest things out there is simply the unknown. Or as FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." That could be taken to mean that fear is somewhat self-generating and perpetually building upon itself. So it could be argued that the scariest monster is the one you never fully see because your mind is going to fill in the gaps and scare you more than anything else lurking out there.
In that idea there are some monsters that are scarier because they're small rather than because they're knocking over a skyscraper. Some people have an irrational fear of spiders or other various bugs. Sure if Cthulhu showed up in Time's Square they would be frightened, but it's the little things that freak them out. With a giant lizard or butterfly attacking it's necessary for it to show of its strength by smashing something. Now if you happen to live in the apartment building next door then that's a pretty good display of power and is probably frightening because most people don't want a build to land on their head. After that initial display of power though you kind of know what to expect and can really plan the rest of your day. Chicago is in ruins so don't go into the city today. Avoiding large monsters is theoretically easier for those not directly under foot. With the little monsters like bugs or viruses you can't always see them, but you know they're nearby. If a giant cockroach attacked New York City most people would get the hell out of there or at least know a general direction to head away from. Now if billions of mutated regular-sized cockroaches started feeding on people's faces where could they go? Let's face it, even though they've cleaned up the city quite a bit, there are cockroaches all over. They will probably outlive us in the event that we get into a nuclear exchange with North Korea. So there are millions of monsters hiding just behind the wall and no matter where you go, they are there.
Of course that's not to take away from the big guys out there. We live in a time where the largest land animal is the elephant. As far as I know elephants pretty much eat fruits and vegetables and like to play in the water. There haven't been too many reports of herds going on a rampage and attacking villages in Africa or India. Now in the ocean that's a different story. I love the water and feel very comfortable near and in it. Still I understand that most things in the water would love nothing more than to eat you, or at the very least bite off a piece of you before deciding if they're going to eat you. The largest creatures in the water are whales, who seem to be pretty content to eat some of the smallest things around. I suppose to krill a blue whale would be Godzilla, but to us we like them so much that there are CDs of whale songs out there. Anyway my point is that we have no concept of something large wandering around that treats us as food. The dinosaurs are long gone and are probably the basis for a lot of the large monster stories we have today. T-Rex was probably something you didn't want to see racing towards you. We know a lot about him now though. Remember what I said about the unknown. The more you know about something, the less frightening it seems (well in theory in anyway). So we know more than ever before about what dinosaurs did when they were walking the Earth. Ultimately they are just animals. Granted they were really large animals. With that knowledge we take it to the next step. What is T-Rex was bigger? What if he never died? What if he got exponentially smarter to the point that he could operate a rocket launcher?
We take the things we know and add our own imagination to it to create something that scares us. It makes me wonder if monsters are required for us as a species. We need the idea of them out there for some reason. The problem is that we have plenty of monsters that wear human faces and it makes me wonder if maybe we use monsters as a way to consolidate our fears into something we know isn't real. There are plenty of things out in the world that we should be afraid of. A monster is a fun way to get scared. In that regard maybe monsters aren't so bad after all.
I like the idea of monsters though. With it being that time of year, I've started thinking about what it is that makes some monsters frightening while others just seem boring. I guess it comes down to what scares you. It's been said that one of the scariest things out there is simply the unknown. Or as FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." That could be taken to mean that fear is somewhat self-generating and perpetually building upon itself. So it could be argued that the scariest monster is the one you never fully see because your mind is going to fill in the gaps and scare you more than anything else lurking out there.
In that idea there are some monsters that are scarier because they're small rather than because they're knocking over a skyscraper. Some people have an irrational fear of spiders or other various bugs. Sure if Cthulhu showed up in Time's Square they would be frightened, but it's the little things that freak them out. With a giant lizard or butterfly attacking it's necessary for it to show of its strength by smashing something. Now if you happen to live in the apartment building next door then that's a pretty good display of power and is probably frightening because most people don't want a build to land on their head. After that initial display of power though you kind of know what to expect and can really plan the rest of your day. Chicago is in ruins so don't go into the city today. Avoiding large monsters is theoretically easier for those not directly under foot. With the little monsters like bugs or viruses you can't always see them, but you know they're nearby. If a giant cockroach attacked New York City most people would get the hell out of there or at least know a general direction to head away from. Now if billions of mutated regular-sized cockroaches started feeding on people's faces where could they go? Let's face it, even though they've cleaned up the city quite a bit, there are cockroaches all over. They will probably outlive us in the event that we get into a nuclear exchange with North Korea. So there are millions of monsters hiding just behind the wall and no matter where you go, they are there.
Of course that's not to take away from the big guys out there. We live in a time where the largest land animal is the elephant. As far as I know elephants pretty much eat fruits and vegetables and like to play in the water. There haven't been too many reports of herds going on a rampage and attacking villages in Africa or India. Now in the ocean that's a different story. I love the water and feel very comfortable near and in it. Still I understand that most things in the water would love nothing more than to eat you, or at the very least bite off a piece of you before deciding if they're going to eat you. The largest creatures in the water are whales, who seem to be pretty content to eat some of the smallest things around. I suppose to krill a blue whale would be Godzilla, but to us we like them so much that there are CDs of whale songs out there. Anyway my point is that we have no concept of something large wandering around that treats us as food. The dinosaurs are long gone and are probably the basis for a lot of the large monster stories we have today. T-Rex was probably something you didn't want to see racing towards you. We know a lot about him now though. Remember what I said about the unknown. The more you know about something, the less frightening it seems (well in theory in anyway). So we know more than ever before about what dinosaurs did when they were walking the Earth. Ultimately they are just animals. Granted they were really large animals. With that knowledge we take it to the next step. What is T-Rex was bigger? What if he never died? What if he got exponentially smarter to the point that he could operate a rocket launcher?
We take the things we know and add our own imagination to it to create something that scares us. It makes me wonder if monsters are required for us as a species. We need the idea of them out there for some reason. The problem is that we have plenty of monsters that wear human faces and it makes me wonder if maybe we use monsters as a way to consolidate our fears into something we know isn't real. There are plenty of things out in the world that we should be afraid of. A monster is a fun way to get scared. In that regard maybe monsters aren't so bad after all.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
On Wanderlust
For some people there is this overwhelming inability to sit still. I don't just mean physically either. It goes beyond that and crosses into something a lot more existential. I've said before that life is about the journey and happiness may not be a destination. There are those who may feel that something is always missing or wonder what's over the next rise. Happiness for them is a moving target and it might be something they never truly find. In some cases the search for it actually is the basis for their happiness. In life there really is only one real destination and that's death. It's the one thing in our life that will be permanent once we get there. Everything else is relatively fleeting, no matter how long it lasts. With that knowledge one could be driven to constantly search out what's next before the clock runs out. Sitting still is very much like reaching that final destination and in a sense stagnation is death.
I've known people who were forced to stay in one place. To do just one thing. Circumstances made it so that they couldn't move to the next thing. It could be money or family or various obligations that life places upon them. Those people are haunted by thoughts of what could have been or even what should have been, but never was. No matter what happens in life, there is a nagging whisper in the back of the mind that calls to them. There people could have lives that they seemingly should be content with, but it's just not enough. That question of "what if" may always be there. What if they leave? What if they toss everything aside and take the plunge into the unknown? What if they do that, will it make them finally happy? The thing is that thoughts like that aren't always the grass is always greener either. There is a calling that can't be ignored.
I wonder what is the root of that call. Is it just the personality of the person in question that creates a constant journey that will never be completed? Are those people acutely aware of some hidden need that is required before they feel whole? It could be that they simply won't accept anything but what they picture in their head. Everything else is just compromise. We all have responsibilities and obligations. We collect them as we go through life. In a lot of cases they weigh us down and make it so that we have to consider them before making any sort of decision. They aren't always bad things either. Those responsibilities help shape our lives. Having children changes what you can and can't do for the rest of your life. That may mean for at least eighteen years you have to put certain things on hold for their sake. Being in that situation can change what you're willing to accept for the time being. Instead of traveling Europe or becoming a park ranger in Yellowstone, you raise a family. No one should fault a person for doing what's right for their loved ones. However, there are those people who don't have obligations like a family. Instead life has happened in such a way that they don't feel they're in the right place. Now it could be argued that in many cases that's all in their head. Maybe it is, but maybe it's deeper than that. There are people who know that they need to be a parent. Without being one they feel incomplete. For them, that is both the journey and the destination of life. For others it's not so clear.
Koyaanisqatsi means life out of balance. This can happen for any number of reasons. Some people accept it as a fact of life. Nothing will ever be perfect and in knowing this they just go about their daily routine because to fight against it would be an exercise in futility. While waking up, going to work, coming home, watching television, going to bed, and doing it all over again may not be the epitome of happiness, but it's acceptable. The idea is that it could be worse. For those seekers out there that kind of life is like dying in tiny increments. There must be something more, even if that something more is a vague idea of something beyond what already exists. They may bid their time before setting out looking for it. They may take drastic leaps in order to break free of the gravity that has become their life. They may sit in a cubicle for years and stare at a postcard of a beach, doing nothing more than dreaming about their escape, which will never happen. Whatever they do, that sense of wanderlust is embedded deep inside who they are. If they are really fortunate they will one day find that destination that is perfect for them. I suppose if you're happy with where you are, enjoy it. If you're like me and wish that you could get to that state of mind others seem to have already found, keep looking for it because the journey is worth the effort.
I've known people who were forced to stay in one place. To do just one thing. Circumstances made it so that they couldn't move to the next thing. It could be money or family or various obligations that life places upon them. Those people are haunted by thoughts of what could have been or even what should have been, but never was. No matter what happens in life, there is a nagging whisper in the back of the mind that calls to them. There people could have lives that they seemingly should be content with, but it's just not enough. That question of "what if" may always be there. What if they leave? What if they toss everything aside and take the plunge into the unknown? What if they do that, will it make them finally happy? The thing is that thoughts like that aren't always the grass is always greener either. There is a calling that can't be ignored.
I wonder what is the root of that call. Is it just the personality of the person in question that creates a constant journey that will never be completed? Are those people acutely aware of some hidden need that is required before they feel whole? It could be that they simply won't accept anything but what they picture in their head. Everything else is just compromise. We all have responsibilities and obligations. We collect them as we go through life. In a lot of cases they weigh us down and make it so that we have to consider them before making any sort of decision. They aren't always bad things either. Those responsibilities help shape our lives. Having children changes what you can and can't do for the rest of your life. That may mean for at least eighteen years you have to put certain things on hold for their sake. Being in that situation can change what you're willing to accept for the time being. Instead of traveling Europe or becoming a park ranger in Yellowstone, you raise a family. No one should fault a person for doing what's right for their loved ones. However, there are those people who don't have obligations like a family. Instead life has happened in such a way that they don't feel they're in the right place. Now it could be argued that in many cases that's all in their head. Maybe it is, but maybe it's deeper than that. There are people who know that they need to be a parent. Without being one they feel incomplete. For them, that is both the journey and the destination of life. For others it's not so clear.
Koyaanisqatsi means life out of balance. This can happen for any number of reasons. Some people accept it as a fact of life. Nothing will ever be perfect and in knowing this they just go about their daily routine because to fight against it would be an exercise in futility. While waking up, going to work, coming home, watching television, going to bed, and doing it all over again may not be the epitome of happiness, but it's acceptable. The idea is that it could be worse. For those seekers out there that kind of life is like dying in tiny increments. There must be something more, even if that something more is a vague idea of something beyond what already exists. They may bid their time before setting out looking for it. They may take drastic leaps in order to break free of the gravity that has become their life. They may sit in a cubicle for years and stare at a postcard of a beach, doing nothing more than dreaming about their escape, which will never happen. Whatever they do, that sense of wanderlust is embedded deep inside who they are. If they are really fortunate they will one day find that destination that is perfect for them. I suppose if you're happy with where you are, enjoy it. If you're like me and wish that you could get to that state of mind others seem to have already found, keep looking for it because the journey is worth the effort.
Monday, October 25, 2010
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