Where do our memories go when we're not remembering them? Somewhere within our minds are all these experiences and feelings that have occurred throughout our lives. We don't know how they get put there or how we get them out when we want them. Our very perception of reality is being monitored by a system we don't fully understand and have very little control over.
There have been several times in the last few years where someone I grew up with would reminisce with me about our shared past and I have no memory of the event. I have to take their word for it that it happened. And even more important, that it happened the way they remember it. It's a strange thing to have pieces of my own past that others remember and I don't. Granted there are whole chunks of my early childhood that I can't remember because I was way too young to retain those memories. Both of my parents may not remember those events either. Logically, I know that the event must have happened, but if something happens and no one can remember it, how do you know what is real? Maybe it falls into that same category as the soundless tree in the woods. What if I remember something one way and someone else remembers it differently? What is the truth? Is there a singular truth when it comes to memory? If I can't remember something then I have to rely on someone else's memory to tell me what happened and that's a tricky thing when we already know that memory can't be trusted, even when it bothers to show up.
Have you ever been reminded of something you hadn't thought of in a very long time? It could have been years since you heard a song or saw a person or thought of that birthday party where the clown caught on fire. Suddenly the memory comes flooding back to the forefront of your mind. Where did it come from? How do I know what I'm remembering is the 'real' event and not some cobbled together amalgamation of memory and imagination? It's very weird to think that today may not be remembered very well a year from now. Even though this moment now is so clear in your mind, we seem to have very little control over what items make it into our long term memory. How much of our experience just fades away into nothing?
Today's world may be different because we as a society are so much more focused on capturing the moment, even if the moment is us eating a bacon taco with our friends on a random Tuesday evening. I'm not saying selfies and other forms of self-narration are bad. It's just that I've already covered how things like Facebook are a highlight reel of your life events. It's not the real record of truth, even though the outside world may think you lead an amazing life because you spent three months traveling the world and have all these great pictures standing next to things you see in movies. No one else gets to remember all the non-picture-worthy moments except us.
When I lived alone it became easy to assume that my narration was the right one. There wasn't anyone around to tell me differently. You start to believe everything you think, which may not always be what really happened. Now that I live with someone, there is a constant second observer to the events. Granted there are many times where we both experience something and immediately disagree on what actually happened, which really causes one to question if the person they're talking to is in fact crazy. The even scary part is, what if they're not and it's you who just went through something and perceived it completely out of whack with reality? Having a partner with you is both a blessing and a curse because you're often forced to immediately look back at something that happened, but through different eyes. Does this second person change the memory that would have been formed? Are you both now remembering variations on single event? Given enough time how will you know if your version is even close to what happened?
