After over a year of planning we were able to come together and make our relationship 'official'. Mostly it was a chance to have all of our friends and family around us to share in a ceremony that shows our commitment to each other and our future together. The entire time we were planning I kept thinking to myself that I didn't want to put anyone out. I didn't want to mess with their Labor Day plans. It is the last holiday of the summer and that can be important. Much more important than me. We sent out the invites and I kept asking myself if I was being too presumptuous to ask people to spend nearly three days hanging out with me. There were moments when I thought, if no one shows up I wouldn't really blame them. I mean I'm just me.
Not all that long ago I used to strive to keep my various worlds separated from each other. I'm not sure why I did that. Mostly I think it was because I wanted to separate myself. I could be this way with one person because that's how they knew me. With someone else I could be somewhat different. There was also that fear that this aspect would conflict with that aspect and it would call into question if one of them should go. This weekend all of my worlds collided with each other in a fantastic explosion. Friends and family from past and present and all over the country came to a single place at the same time. I was amazed at the people who took the time to come and spend a weekend with me. Had I somehow tricked them into making Labor Day weekend all about me?
The brothers who I grew up with as my second family. My lunatic best friend from college. The quiet man with a huge heart, who made his home my home. The one who started as a voice over the internet has become a trusted friend. Someone who is years younger than me, but astounds me with his integrity every time we speak. The most recent friend, who's joy for life constantly drives me to look at things in new and different ways. A baby brother, who has grown up to be such an amazing man that I find myself looking up to him. Having any one of these people in my life would make me a lucky man. To have all of them with me for one of the biggest events of my life makes me incredibly blessed in a way that I didn't think I deserved.
Saying 'thank you' or 'I love you' didn't seem like enough. It's not like how it is in movies when the music swells or the moment goes into slow motion so you know that it's important. Instead all the things I wanted to say in the moment kept getting drowned out by those silly emotions that kept smashing through. I only hope that my bumbling muttering somehow got the message across.
When I was little I thought the world revolved around me. Most little kids think this because they have no concept of their place in such a large place. As I got older I started to realize that I was not, in fact, the center of the universe. I was only the center of mine. Over the weekend that changed for me. The center is now someone else, with a tiny additional center coming soon to a universe near you! I never thought I'd find something more important than myself to focus on, but now that she's here, I wonder what was I thinking all this time up until now. I'm just glad everyone got to see my universe realign itself to how it was always meant to be.
