Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited about my upcoming travel, which I suppose is fair. The thing is though that this kind of travel is vastly different than anything I've ever done before so the situation is a bit overwhelming to the point that my brain hasn't fully caught up to the idea of what's about to happen. I've spent a couple months away before, but it's been back in the safety of where I grew up, which meant I knew exactly what to expect. The house I grew up in, my old room (with different curtains), and seeing familiar faces. It was very comfortable. Almost like being on summer break, but as an adult. This trip is completely different because I'm leaving the country and going to a place I've never been, don't know the language, and am not quite sure what to expect. Thankfully I'm not going alone. Having someone with me who's been before will be a great way to hold onto home and who I am.
Right now we're standing on a ledge, getting ready to leap off the side. We're pretty sure that it's safe down below, but we can't be sure until we've made the jump. The whole thing has me thinking about how my perception of things is likely to change with this trip. A part of me is nervous about how this new version of me is going to look back at my current life. My life is pretty safe and on any given day I can predict how the next several weeks are going to play out. The adventures we have in the every day world are fun and exciting in their own way. I wonder though how I'm going to relate them after this trip. The current me hopes that I still enjoy the things I enjoy now after having been exposed to a different world. I like the things in my life, but is that because they've always been there and I've not experienced something completely different? Will they have the same meaning to me when I return?
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to what's about to happen and I'm working on not spending too much energy thinking about what's being left behind. Life will go on while we're away and I think that will be one of the harder things. Because we'll be having fun off somewhere else, the people in our every day will be living their lives without us. It's a bit like leaving for college the first time and then returning back home. The place you knew has been going along fine without you. It's the same place that you left, except just a little bit different now. You realize that the world you thought you knew was so much smaller than you could have imagined, making you question your place in it.
I guess the only thing left to do is see what happens tomorrow.
