An animated sheep once said "There are two types of things in this world: Things you can control and things you can't. Why worry about either?" The thing is how much in our world do we really control? Even our own bodies are outside of our control. We may think we're in command, but given the complexity of the human body, there are several mundane tasks going on that we can't do anything about. Do you think you can regulate pancreatic function or how your blood flows? Technically you can't even force yourself to stop breathing for very long. So maybe the inner workings of our bodies is out of our control, but we must be in charge of our own minds. Nope. We don't really have too much impact there either. It's been said that we may not be able to control what others do, but we can control how we react to what they do. That's partially true. For the most part you can exert some form of self-control and not immediately just say whatever comes to mind, like a child. However, our brains are governed by a sea of neurochemicals and having any of them slightly out of balance can cause severe changes to our mood, thoughts, or even personality. We can't even have power over our own reality because neurotransmitters could be misfiring, causing us to believe that we can fly, or that people are after us, or cause us to surge into a rage over a perceived insult. So if you think about it, we're in a body with countless functions occurring every second that we can't really do anything about, and it's all being controlled by a mind that is essentially a chemistry experiment that could easily explode at any moment.
Still we fight for some form of control. When we were children the older we got the more we fought against our parents' control. Toddlers are constantly wanting to do things on their own because for the first time in their lives they have the ability to manage how things go. Teenagers are in that strange limbo of not quite being a child, but not quite being an adult, so they also rebel against everything, even themselves, in an attempt to maintain some kind of control on where their lives are going. Meanwhile parents are waging their own war trying to control their children in a way that boundaries are established and maintained. Then as we get older we find that we once again aren't in command of so many things. The longer we live the less we finally control. You'd think that given time we'd finally get a knack for things, but it just doesn't work out that way.
Even every relationship has some level of control between the people involved, even if it's as minor as maintaining clearly defined roles. I once knew someone who always had to have things their way when it came to other people. They wouldn't answer the phone, only text. They wouldn't talk face to face, instead they would use instant messenger or email. That way the conversation was always controlled. Everything could be read and analyzed or tweaked. I'm sure they were master of the backspace. The problem with that is that they never allowed anyone else to have any kind of control of the conversation. Your option was to either submit to how they wanted it or not have any contact. Given enough time resentment will form because no one likes to have control always taken away from them.
I've known a few people who will not drink to the point of being drunk because they don't like to be out of control. There is an ever-present concern that while under the influence they will do something they may regret later. Maybe that comes from a bad experience or maybe it's just part of their personality that they never want to let go of whatever power they have. Given what I've seen and experienced with alcohol I know that it lowers your ability to regulate yourself, so in a way you're free from who you may normally be. For some people that makes them uncomfortable. For others it becomes an escape that's used all too often because they want to let go.
Maybe the trick to getting by in a world that's essentially chaos you have to accept that your control is limited. That's not to say you aren't responsible. Too often people like to throw their hands in the air and say it's not their fault. It wasn't me. It's my genes that are responsible. While it may seem counterintuitive to what I've been saying this whole time, we are in control, even if only slightly. It's that fraction of power that we call free will. It's what keeps us separate from animals who rely only on instinct. With all that said, take a look at your own life. What do you control? What elements are more than just influenced by your decisions? Maybe influence is enough. Think of how many things in this universe can be drastically altered by just a nudge in one direction or another. It's those small corrections that shape reality. So maybe we are in command of everything and it just feels like we're constantly skidding out of control.
