Stone Slabs

On Trapper Keepers

Whatever happened to Trapper Keepers? I know it's not true, but it feels like when they stopped being useful to me they simply stopped being made. There are a lot of memories about those middle years of school, but the one constant were the various Trapper Keepers I owned. Each one was like a marker for that school year. In a way it stored all the memories and events for that year.

Like most kids I loved summer, if only for the fact that it meant I didn't have to go to school for three months. It was a way to break out of the structure of school and enjoy some freedom. At least from a kid's perspective that's how it is. When we're children we don't always realize the fact that three months out of school means that our parents had to sort out what to do with us that whole time. So when it came time for us to return to school there was a bit of celebration for parents. Finally we were a problem for someone else to deal with. Being the little nerd that I was, when it came time to go get school supplies I was usually so excited. I remember going to the store and looking at all the new folders and brightly colored pencils. There were lunch boxes with new designs that I didn't even know existed and once I saw I just had to have. It didn't matter how lame my lunch may have been, but I had to eat out of a Fall Guy lunch box. While looking through all the supplies I would try to imagine all the situations where I would get to use them. The pictures I would create with my colored pencils. The mistakes I would remove with my handy eraser. The idea of what I could do with them sometimes was better than what I actually did with them.

I wish I could tell you that it was a thoughtful process deciding which Trapper Keeper I would ultimately use for the year, but in most cases it came down to me grabbing what was the most visually appealing at the time. Sure there were several second guesses and in some cases I would literally drop what I was doing and run back to the stand to switch out what I picked with another. In elementary school we had music class for an hour. I'm not sure if they still do that anymore. I don't think it was every day, but it happened several times during the week. We would stop whatever we were doing, line up, and go the music room to spend an hour with Mrs. Aune. Her room was like magic. First off, it wasn't shaped like a normal room. It was oval and had levels built into it like a stadium so we could look down towards the center of the room where her piano was. On that piano she always had what I thought were the coolest toys. Throughout the room there were pictures of music. At the beginning of the school year we were told to bring in a folder. This would be our special folder. I'm not entirely sure what we actually put in it other than it was paper. Every year I had a hard time picking out that folder. It had to be special because she said it was special. Back then I still believed in things like a special folder that was good. Those folders weren't used every day. Most of the time they were stored away in a closet behind us. Only on special occasions did they get pulled out and passed out. It was those moments where I would just stare at my folder because at that age it was easy to mesmerize me with just a picture. Actually it's still easy to do that to me, but usually it's a different kind of picture now.

When I was picking out my folder or Trapper Keeper I would often wonder who it was that came up with the designs and pictures. Obviously they were aimed at children and meant to promote other products like whatever cartoon or television show that was popular at the time. Those folders were fine enough, but found myself drawn to the more abstract designs that were created by the mystical machine known as a computer. Sure those folders were mass-produced and there was a chance that another kid picked out the same design as you, but it seemed like those designs were unique. Or at least my combination of designs was unique to me. As children we sometimes allow inanimate objects define us. Actually I guess as adults we allow that as well. My Trapper Keeper was an expression of myself, even if someone else had actually created it. I carried it with me every day so it was an extension of me and my thoughts.

I'm not exactly sure when it happens for other kids or when it happened to me, but somewhere along the way I stopped putting forth as much effort into my school supplies. I became less concerned with form and more focused on functionality. Finding those folders with the unique designs was no longer important to me. A plain red, blue, or green folder served the same purpose. A Trapper Keeper was eventually replaced with a binder or the individual folders were just tossed into a backpack and pulled out as needed. That trend continued on through high school and into college. I wonder if that was because the work we were expected to do was more serious or were we allowing ourselves to become more jaded about school? The container was less important that the contents because the older we got, the more our school work started to consume us. Sometimes I would miss those designer folders that were stashed away for special use only. It reminded me of a time when I thought school was almost magical in the possibilities that it offered.

Skyway

On One Day

If I were to ask if one day could change an entire life most people would say absolutely. A single day can alter the course of everything. I guess the real question is what is it about that one day that is more important than the days that came before it? Is it actually more important or just more immediate? I suppose in some cases there may not be much of a difference.

When people think about a single day being the cause of something life-altering it tends to be something drastic or even catastrophic. A car accident. The birth of a child. The death of a loved one. Events like that are glaring examples of great change, or at least the potential for change. Although when I think about it the birth of a child or a wedding may seem like the day where things changed permanently, but really there were several days that led to those moments. That day is important. However, is it really any more important than the days that came before it? A child doesn't just appear and in most cases a wedding is the culmination of a relationship. I'm going to go ahead and skip past anything to do with Vegas because that's really missing the point I'm referring to. In some cases people make a conscious effort to start trying to have a child. For some it's a surprising accident. Either way there is a moment when it's realized that another life is growing inside. One could argue that's really the day when everything changes. The day the child comes out just solidifies it. The same thing with a marriage. Hopefully before the actual ceremony there is an established relationship and the day is really just recognizing that fact with others. The day after the wedding would probably feel slightly different because they are married, but in a lot of cases these days the two people probably already lived together so the real change comes from making it "official". While the day is important, one has to wonder if it's really everything that came before it that is the cause of the change.

Often times it's the small, seemingly unimportant days that are when real changes come. Do we even notice the days when things make that turn? Not all change comes from drastic events. Sometimes it's a single thought or idea that comes along on some idle Tuesday that is the beginning of everything. I remember in high school seeing a girl that I hadn't noticed before. Well I had known she was there, but it almost didn't register. Then one day, out of the blue, I was suddenly very interested in her. I wish I could remember that precise moment when it dawned on me that I was attracted to her. Instead it's more of a general idea that something had changed for me. It wasn't until a few weeks later when I asked her out almost in passing that it became more than just an idea. When we were first dating it was fun enough and I wanted to keep seeing her when I could. Again I don't remember the precise moment when my feelings when from infatuation to something more. I'm not even sure there was an exact moment. Maybe it was just what the whole thing was building towards and it was more an eventuality than anything else. When the actual moment happened was less important than the fact that it happened at all. With things like emotions it's really hard to rationalize why things happen or even pinpoint specifics.

Have you ever had a day that changed the course of your life? It doesn't have to be the day someone died or someone was born, although I'm guessing in those situations it did alter your life to some degree. I guess technically speaking since life is always in motion then every day is changing it. As I mentioned, it's those little moments that accumulate to a point where they cascade down in an overwhelming change we simply can't avoid. So aside from those days, where it's painfully obvious that there was something overt going on, have you had a day that was the start of everything? I wonder if days like that have precursors that let you know something is coming or if it just blindsides you when you least expect it. Maybe we don't know a day is going to change our life until it turns into yesterday.

Shadow Step

On the Environment

Now I'm not anything close to what you'd call a tree hugger, although I have hugged a tree and I would recommend it if you ever get the chance. My point is that while I enjoy the environment I'm not one to consider it a passion to try and save it. Part of the reason for that is because I don't believe the environment can be saved. That's not a fatalistic statement either. There is a lot of arrogance on the part of people when they think that we're going to cause the end of the world. All we'll do is make it a crappy place to live. The thing to remember is that the environment is an ever changing system so complex that to this day we don't fully comprehend all the moving parts. Saying that doesn't mean we should dump our garbage in the river and just assume that the Earth will sort it out for us. I think we should do what we can to not actively destroy the world around us. At the same time it's unreasonable to think that we won't have an impact. There are over 6 billion of us on the planet, so we're very likely going to alter the landscape a bit with our passing.

For some people there is this innate need to preserve things. I'm not sure if this is for posterity or nostalgia or something else. We hang onto things from the past as reminders of where we've been and where we're possibly going. In some cases we prefer how things used to be over how they are right now and try to hold back change at all cost. If we keep things from changing and try to preserve things in a way that we think it should be, then maybe we're slowing down potential evolution of the environment itself. Not only that but we may be hindering our own evolution because we never allow ourselves to move from the past. They say that those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it and that's often times true. There is a certain beauty to things created in the past and maybe we should try to preserve them so that they're not lost to the ages. Still though, at what point do we start holding onto the past? If a car is at least twenty years old then it can be considered a classic. By that logic a used Chevy Nova is a classic car. Just because something is old doesn't mean that it's really classic. Sometimes it's just old. We want to save things for future generations, but what if they weren't meant to see things that way? What if it was just the natural progression for those old things to experience their time and then make way for something new? The dodo has been extinct since the 17th century and maybe there's a reason for that. I know that there is a huge difference between cars and a species of animals the same way that there's a difference between the ruins of The Colosseum and a national park.

One of the major catch phrases of the environmental movement today is the "carbon footprint". Really this is the amount of pollution a person, organization, or product creates. I'm glad that it's something that can be quantified because for too long people pretty much did whatever they wanted with little thought to the impact it would have on the world. Come to think about it, people have done that with more than just the environment, but that's for another time. For years chemicals were pumped into the rivers and oceans with almost no regard for the lasting effects it would have. Maybe that came from the fact that when you think about it the world is a pretty big place and the output from some leather mill seemed almost insignificant. The same was probably true for a single person who threw out a plastic bottle or newspaper because there was a time when it probably felt like there was an endless supply of both. It's only in the last few decades that people have started taking notice of the fact that maybe there is an end to what we can use before it's gone forever. Granted in some cases there is a fair amount of fear-mongering by various groups that paint the situation a little more bleak than it may actually be. I've often wondered about the motivations of people who do that. Are they so desperate for people to pay attention to the issue that they yell "fire!" in a crowded room? Or do they sincerely believe that things are that dire? I suppose either would be a horrible way to go through your daily life. Part of the problem with this sudden realization that things might be going downhill is that there is a level of near panic when it comes to trying to fix things. Now I'm well aware of the fact that the problems we face can't be things we take our sweet time with trying to resolve, but there is a difference between taking responsible action to correct past mistakes and frantically grasping at any solution presented. Right now the boat isn't sinking, but we're starting to see water come over the side. So we should act accordingly.

We also have to understand that things aren't always black and white. I remember growing up hearing about how the Amazon rain forest was being cut down at an alarming rate. When I heard that I thought the people cutting down those trees must have been idiots. Didn't they realize that they were killing the world's oxygen tank? It seemed obvious that it was a bad idea and I couldn't understand why anyone would want to actively hurt the world. Turns out in a lot of cases the people doing the harm aren't bad people out to do harm. They're just people doing what they feel they have to. People who live in and around the rain forest need to make a living just like we do. They don't always have the option to just pick and choose a career. If you had to cut down an acre of rain forest every day so that your kids could eat the only thing you'd be asking is when do you start. That doesn't make what they're doing right or wrong, it's simply the situation they're in. It's easy to get sanctimonious about what other people are doing when we're not in their shoes. People may rage about how the environment is being torn apart, but that doesn't stop them from going to Wal-Mart and buying cheap disposable goods or driving a car that gets twelves miles to the gallon. I'm no different either. I see the problems and know that I'm equally to blame.

Going back to the carbon footprint and more importantly our general impact on the world. How come I'm expected to keep track of everything I do, but a deer isn't? Sure my mental capacity might be greater than that of a deer, but we both live here. Plus there's a good chance that I've lived here longer than the deer so wouldn't I have more of a right to be here than they? Also I contribute to the world in a way that the deer can't even comprehend. They're basically giant rodents with antlers that just prance around the woods eating and shitting. So how come when I'm hiking I have to abide by the signs that say "Stay on trail" because the area is in a state of regrowth? I'm going to have less impact on the surrounding woods that the deer because I'm not going to eat some underdeveloped bush or rub up against a sick tree. Obviously all of that is a bit of a sarcastic argument because as people we are, for the most part, more capable of realizing our impact on the environment and in that fact we are able to do something about it. The deer is simply existing on instinct and little more. They can't be expected to rationalize anything. They can't even be expected to move out of the way of a fast approaching automobile without some serious indecision. In a way it's our responsibility to be aware of how our passing through can change the world.

As I mentioned before, the environment is so very complex. Attempting to understand it is overwhelming and anyone who says that they know all there is to know is lying to you. We've all heard about global warming and yet what we think we know may not be true. Based on everything scientists know there are still questions as to why things behave the way they do when we expect it to do something completely different. When we hear about this it's easy to throw our hands in the air and wonder if anything we do really has an impact. How important can we really be in a worldwide system? Again I'm not saying that we should fill the air with carbon monoxide or turn the oceans into sewers. The Earth has experienced 12 billion years of changes, all of it part of a natural progression. What's to say that we're not a part of the next environmental progression towards something else?

Lava Burst